My blog address was inspired by this Jimmy Buffett who sang "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes". That was like four years ago when I first started blogging. I'm so glad I'm still here.
Oh well listen to the song, it's quite catchy after a while and it's also quite therapeutic.
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane!
/ok start of the actual blog post
MIDWEEK! Hurrah for mid week. So far so good. I am so not missing clinicals except the doctor and the food and the staff discount. School has been pretty slack too but the number of projects are definitely piling up. No worries though, I shall enjoy my first week and sleep early. Until next week, bring on the work! (Hahaha I will regret my words after this)
Anyway, I still think you-know-who has something against me. Hmmm...
And I would like to say sorry again to the usual people for choosing to work with other group members this time round. It's not that I don't enjoy working with you guys but I think it's time that I move out of my comfort zone and learn to work with other people. Still friends right?
Last but not least, it's 8 more days to the start of POL-ITE! It's a little bit of a bummer for me now cos I'm not putting in my shots and I'm not playing as well as I should. So YAY benchwarmer for now. Earning my place on the team is not as easy as it looks. Time to work hard and make sure I play well for Nike too...
Dear Su,
Initially I did not plan to blog about this until it was over but I guess I am not able to take it anymore. It was bad to begin with and my worst fear seems like it is going to come true. Practical exam results was/were the main reason why I really dread going for it. It refers to clinicals at you know where. Then coupled with major anxiety issues about exam results also added on to the ongoing worry..am I really suited for this course?
So far at you know where, the comments have been disturbingly disturbing. It really makes me doubt my abilities. Soft skills? Safety awareness? Consistency? SKILLS? It felt like a roller coaster ride over the weeks but it's heading south now. And I've lost all motivation to continue putting in effort. I wrote an email to a kind person a few days ago and I just told her my dilemma. I said I knew my weaknesses and I recognized my doubts but I am not doing anything about it. I also said I felt horrible for knowing what I'm not doing right which is not doing anything to address my concerns. The kind person said that at least I knew what's wrong and she suggested that I work on it rather than dwell on it. Behavior modification you know. It's really hard and I think I would want to go for counseling soon.
And to actually overcome my fear, I think I will be emailing the scary person soon. I think I need help. In need of major help so that I can survive sem 2. If not I would really have to think twice.
I told a friend today that the reason why I am staying on right now is actually netball. I think I have a place on the team. And the thought of representing school again for POLITE is actually an important factor for not throwing in the towel so soon. I feel stupid because I'm staying for the wrong reasons but then again, I do not intend to give my family major disappointment. As I've told another friend, I'm a perfectionist and screwing up my life is something I do not wish to experience because I don't think I can take it emotionally. Some people say it might be pride or ego but I guess it's still the same.
I would like to thank one friend for always listening to my woes and stuff. Maybe thank more friends who have given me the jiayous and the don't-give-up-you-can-do-it pep talk. Its not working honestly because I have difficulty trying to believe in myself. But then again, it is appreciated. Better to have something than nothing at all. Also, I read a book about OT, especially about the transition of student to fieldwork practice. It said that students often have difficulty adapting to a new environment and it contributes a high level of stress which leads to students doubting their career choice and competency (something along those lines). One small part of me hopes that I am actually facing this dilemma and that after clinicals, I will feel better. I really hope I do but for now, it's 5 more days till the end and all I can do is to do my best and quit being bo chap about it. Ask for help because I know I need it now more than ever.
Love,
Su
Initially I did not plan to blog about this until it was over but I guess I am not able to take it anymore. It was bad to begin with and my worst fear seems like it is going to come true. Practical exam results was/were the main reason why I really dread going for it. It refers to clinicals at you know where. Then coupled with major anxiety issues about exam results also added on to the ongoing worry..am I really suited for this course?
So far at you know where, the comments have been disturbingly disturbing. It really makes me doubt my abilities. Soft skills? Safety awareness? Consistency? SKILLS? It felt like a roller coaster ride over the weeks but it's heading south now. And I've lost all motivation to continue putting in effort. I wrote an email to a kind person a few days ago and I just told her my dilemma. I said I knew my weaknesses and I recognized my doubts but I am not doing anything about it. I also said I felt horrible for knowing what I'm not doing right which is not doing anything to address my concerns. The kind person said that at least I knew what's wrong and she suggested that I work on it rather than dwell on it. Behavior modification you know. It's really hard and I think I would want to go for counseling soon.
And to actually overcome my fear, I think I will be emailing the scary person soon. I think I need help. In need of major help so that I can survive sem 2. If not I would really have to think twice.
I told a friend today that the reason why I am staying on right now is actually netball. I think I have a place on the team. And the thought of representing school again for POLITE is actually an important factor for not throwing in the towel so soon. I feel stupid because I'm staying for the wrong reasons but then again, I do not intend to give my family major disappointment. As I've told another friend, I'm a perfectionist and screwing up my life is something I do not wish to experience because I don't think I can take it emotionally. Some people say it might be pride or ego but I guess it's still the same.
I would like to thank one friend for always listening to my woes and stuff. Maybe thank more friends who have given me the jiayous and the don't-give-up-you-can-do-it pep talk. Its not working honestly because I have difficulty trying to believe in myself. But then again, it is appreciated. Better to have something than nothing at all. Also, I read a book about OT, especially about the transition of student to fieldwork practice. It said that students often have difficulty adapting to a new environment and it contributes a high level of stress which leads to students doubting their career choice and competency (something along those lines). One small part of me hopes that I am actually facing this dilemma and that after clinicals, I will feel better. I really hope I do but for now, it's 5 more days till the end and all I can do is to do my best and quit being bo chap about it. Ask for help because I know I need it now more than ever.
Love,
Su